GEN-TLE-MEN!

[Susan Kaye]

Please. Some of us still possess our male attributes, and intend to keep them. Such talk of baths and scents is undermining my ability to do so. KNOCK IT OFF! (Captain Wentworth is on a mission making disguise necessary. Hence the more manly, down-to-earth look.)

[Elizabeth Elliot]

Without scent, Captain Wentworth, a civilized gentleman will not dare to enter the ballroom! He will be relegated to the card room, away from the ladies. (Withered crones, who care for nothing but gaming, cannot be said to count.)

Why is this so, you ask? Isn't it obvious? The physical exertion of dancing produces perspiration. How will a gentleman convey a good impression on a lady if he reeks of putrefying sweat? And he will reek. The combination of odors in a warm and crowded ballroom is beyond imagination!

Your manly look, as pictured, is impressive ... for a barbarian. Is that a leather jerkin you are wearing? Your tribute to Attila the Hun, perhaps? It is well that you are out-of-doors.

If you call on Anne while in this getup (and without scent), she will probably receive you on the lower steps near the service entrance. You will do well to stand upwind, for our Anne is sensitive to strong odors. I do not know her opinion of facial hair.

As ever,

Elizabeth Elliot

[Frederick Wentworth]

I fail to see how relegation to the gaming rooms would be a punishment. The company of women can be a sore trial, and any man worth his salt finds rest and relaxation only in the company of his fellows.

Anne will never see this costume, and you will never tell her YOU saw me. This a secret matter of duty to my country and the Crown.

I assume you have an equal share of the Elliot pride and will do nothing to stain it.

FW, Capt.

[Anne Elliot]

Frederick, dear Frederick! I have been wondering where you had gotten off to, and now I am sorely confused as to why you dress in such a ... decrepit manner! You say it is a mission, but I wonder.

And your observations about men finding fellowship only in the company of other men is troubling.

I will go now and contemplate this revelation of you character.

Anne

[Mary Musgrove]

Attila the Hun? Don't be ridiculous, Elizabeth. Captain Wentworth and Charles have been hunting, that is all. They've not come near the house for days. I might be lying here dead, and would they know it?

Leather is just the thing for a man who spends hours in the rain and mud, shooting, cleaning dead birds, and being pawed at by dogs.

Not that I approve. Father, who is the perfect gentleman, never thought it necessary to add to his consequence by hunting. Captain Wentworth and Charles are insecure, that is all.

[Anne Elliot]

I wonder if you are not right, Mary. Frederick has been acting strangely for days. Leather is the least of my considerations, but it may be the beginning of things not to my liking.

Anne

[Admiral Patrick McGillvary]

Ladies, calm yourselves. Your wild ideas do you no credit. Miss Elliot, bear up! You are made of sterner stuff.

Allow me to assure you that Captain Wentworth has left Bath on my orders. His absence has nothing to do with hunting birds. I will not deny that firearms are involved, but the less said on that head, the better.

Might I remind you that a sailor's life is taxing.

I remain sincerely yours,

Adm. Patrick McGillvary, RN

[Anne Elliot]

Thank you for your words of assurance, Admiral. You are terribly kind to put yourself out for my peace of mind.

Again, thank you again for your kindness. If you would, coming to Camden Place for tea would not go amiss.

Anne Elliot

[Admiral Patrick McGillvary]

Miss Elliot, I would be pleased to pay my respects when next I am in Bath. I prefer sherry over tea, but the delight of your society will more than make up for the difference.

Cordially yours,

Adm. Patrick McGillvary, RN

[Admiral Patrick McGillvary]

[Wentworth, it is a very good thing you are such a poor shot. Hunting birds? Not on your life! In a handful of days you have managed to hit everything but birds! You are a the devil incarnate with the small sword, but Musgrove takes the lead for marksmanship.

I have offered excuses to the ladies, but I fear that under intense scrutiny they might not hold. I advise a shave and a hasty retreat! And chocolates. A nice, big box of chocolates!

Bye the bye, for my pains I have been invited to tea. Charming of Miss Anne to invite me, don't you think?

Regards,

PM]

[Frederick Wentworth]

All I can say, Friend, is that if you do attend Miss Anne, there will be blood. I leave it to your intelligence and native good sense to know whose.

FW